Silly Meanings

I have become obsessed with writing errors that give rise to silly meanings.

A common error is misplacement of the word only.

Two examples seen in a bus station:

"Passengers may only alight or board at designated bus stops."

Meaning: "Alighting and boarding are the only actions permitted at designated bus stops. Other actions or remaining in your seat are not allowed. At other bus stops you can do what you like."

Intended meaning: "Passengers may alight or board only at designated bus stops."


"Automatic doors will only open when the bus is on the stand"

Meaning: "When the bus is on the stand the doors must open and cannot close."

Intended meaning: "Doors will open only when the bus is on the stand". No emphasis is needed.

Writers should place adverbs immediately before the words they qualify. However, if possible they should avoid splitting an infinitive and place them before the word "to".